It has been confirmed.

"Saracen" (manualdoucheelitist) 01/19/2015 at 12:51 • Filed to: None

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Starting in 2016, Porsche will turbocharge all the things.

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TheHondaBro > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 12:53

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So will the 911 Turbo be a twin turbo?

PS9 > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 12:57

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R.I.P. K-Roll

Saracen > TheHondaBro 01/19/2015 at 12:58

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it will have twin turbos for its already existant twin turbos.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 12:59

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Don't care that much, am here to watch the "oh the humanity" stuff.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 13:00

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Turbo-ception!

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > PS9 01/19/2015 at 13:01

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What?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 13:01

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I'm okay with it.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 13:02

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I wouldn't care if this didn't make used 911s even more overpriced in the future. I love me some natural aspiration, but unfortunately most of the porschephiles do too.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 13:02

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I think this will make the incomprehensible 911 range even more incomprehensible.

Saracen > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 01/19/2015 at 13:05

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I'm okay with it because it means I will some day be able to get a turbocharged 991 Targa.

PS9 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 01/19/2015 at 13:10

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I imagined you stroking out over this news.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 13:12

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Jeremy : I get confused with 911s . I don't know where they all go. Is that a turbo? Richard : No, that's not. That is normally aspirated. Jeremy : So wait a minute, the GT2 's a turbo... Richard : Yes. Jeremy : ... and the Turbo 's a turbo, obviously... Richard : Yes. Jeremy : Why is a GT2 not a Turbo if it is a turbo? Richard : But it is a turbo. Jeremy : Yes, why is it called a GT2 and not a Turbo? Richard : Because the Turbo's called the Turbo. You couldn't have a - Jeremy : You see? Does anybody here understand the 911 range? [silence] No? They're bored, aren't they. Audience : Yes.

Jeremy : They've been making the same car for a hundred and twenty-thirteen years, and all they think to do is, "Well, we'll call that one a GT3 and that one a GT2, have a Turbo, the GT2, have a GT1, a 959, put the engine in the back." God, it must be fun going into a Porsche dealership, "Can I have a 911?" Be like ordering breakfast in America. [face in hands] "I just want eggs!"

For posterity's sake...

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 13:13

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As I hold ever tighter to my E90 M3... Please live forever, okay girl?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > PS9 01/19/2015 at 13:19

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I knew this two weeks ago. Jalopnik is late as fuck on this stuff. I could have posted this last week and no one would have cared; Jalopnik posts it and everyone turns to K-Roll.

Victorious Secret > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/19/2015 at 13:21

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Too late.

This is the end of Porsche.

Porsche is abandoning enthusiasts*

*enthusiasts who are too poor to buy a fucking Porsche and instead rely on people with actual money to buy the car in the hopes that they can own one used in 5-10 years at which point they'll start saying "HOLY SHIT PORSCHE IS AMAZING THEY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT ENTHUSIASTS"

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Victorious Secret 01/19/2015 at 13:41

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Twinpowermeansoneturbo > Saracen 01/19/2015 at 13:55

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As long as the cars threaten to kill the unworthy with an uncontrollable surge of boost if they stab the gas, I'm okay with this.